How to Avoid Toxic Relationships in 5 Easy Steps

How to Avoid Toxic Relationships in 5 Easy Steps

Getting into a relationship is an exciting time and it can be really easy to ignore signs that this person just isn’t right for you. If you’re tired of jumping from one relationship to the next only to find out that your next date is more toxic than the last, now is the time to make some changes. With these 7 easy steps, you can find out how to avoid toxic relationships forever. 

1.Decide what You’re Willing to Accept and What You’re Not 

Every healthy relationship has firm boundaries and these begin with you deciding what you will and won’t put up with in a relationship. Some men might be more accepting about their partner using the silent treatment as a form of communication, while others will not. I once went to meet a woman for a date and she was half an hour late. Usually, that doesn’t bother me – people have things going on in their lives, you know? The problem was that she didn’t even acknowledge it and when I brought it up, she just laughed and told me I was lucky she came at all because she had men lining up to date her. I knew right away that she didn’t respect my time or attention – something that should go both ways in a relationship, so I thanked her for her time and left. Before you start the search for that perfect someone, you’ll need to make a decision about what you’re willing to accept. 

2.Keep your Wits about You 

A woman will tell you just about everything you need to know about her within the first date or so – that means you need to be paying attention. If you’re distracted by red lipstick and tight skirts, you’re going to be missing out on signs that she’s manipulative or only interested in your bank account. Don’t be that guy – learning how to avoid toxic relationships starts from the beginning. The moment you notice those warning signs, be prepared to walk away. 

3.Don’t Play Games 

Games need to be played by at least two people, so if you’re not interested in playing, that’s where it end. This is a mantra I take with me into every relationship I go into. No games – not from me or her. The same goes with jealousy – healthy relationships should be based on trust. I know that not everyone is trustworthy, but every relationship should start on the assumption that a person is – otherwise you’ve basically set the relationship up for a fail. Remember to keep a degree of romance going on in your relationship too

4.Keep it Interesting 

Relationships aren’t just about work – they should be about fun and it’s when the fun stops that people resort to playing games to keep things interesting. If you’re trying to maintain a healthy relationship, you don’t just want to learn how to avoid toxic relationships – you’ll want to learn how to maintain this. It’s natural to fall into patterns when you’re with someone, but if you notice bad patterns becoming a part of your relationship, you need to sit down and figure out how to put an end to this type of behaviour. An example of this was when I was dating someone back in college. She was travelling a lot (language major) and so we wouldn’t see each other as much. When she got back, she’d show me all these pictures of these great experiences she was having and instead of being happy for her, I’d “up my social media” game to try to make it seem like I was having the time of my life when she was away. I realized I was only doing this to get to her and that it needed to stop. My relationship was better because of this. It's also about upping things in and around the bedroom too, talking about fantasies and desire. Using places like Kinky Cloth are a great place to start!

5.Talk to Each Other 

Talking seems like the easiest thing in the world to do but it’s actually really challenging to do when you’re feeling upset, hurt or vulnerable, especially for a guy. It can be easy to fall into patterns of anger, manipulation and resentment when you’re feeling unappreciated or misunderstood but it’s more important than ever to talk when you’re feeling this way.

Stuart Brown

Stuart Brown

I'm Stuart, senior Editor at British Condoms. I am an expert in all areas of sexual health and have a passion to drive knowledge to youth in the UK. Any questions for me or media enquiries, please feel free to tweet me @britishcondoms. Always open to engagement.

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