Why Men Pay For Sex

Why Men Pay For Sex

Before we start – yes, it’s obviously not just men who pay for sex, but if you look at the demographic, it’s overwhelmingly men paying for female sex workers. The other way around is a comparatively sparse area of interest. Prostitution is known as the world’s oldest profession. People have always secured sex by paying for it because our natural urge to reproduce (i.e. have sex) is so strong. Although we usually see sex as primarily a physical act, there is the other side of things to consider too and emotions are often involved, just at a much lower level. So, this is having sex with someone you don’t know, in exchange for a sum of money and it’s often on dodgy legal ground as well. Why DO men pay for sex?

They have a bad self-image. Being overweight, balding, bad skin, wonky teeth, perceiving themselves to be ugly – all of these things can add up to make someone feel like their only option for sex is to pay for it. Plus, by doing it this way they sidestep the need for meeting someone, going through a few dates and facing possible rejection at the end of it. What they should do of course is to change the lifestyle habits that they aren’t happy with, so they turn into the person they want to be. Confidence is often the sexiest thing of all.

To lose their virginity. Having sex for the first time is something that lots of people build up into being a massive thing. And if you do that you are complicating things, allowing pressure to take over and worry and doubt and insecurity to creep in. Taking the first step on life’s sexual path is something that often scares people, or they worry about not having done it yet, so by paying for sex they rid themselves of the pressure and they can feel relaxed knowing that the first time is over. They might also be worrying about technique and being with someone who isn’t going to criticise them becomes a very attractive option.

Loneliness. The most clear cut of reasons to pay for sexual intimacy. Lots of people are just lonely, dating apps haven’t worked out for whatever reason, they don’t have a large pool of friends, they’re fed up of sitting inside every Friday whilst other people are having fun – and paying for sex can relieve all of these issues as well as promising sexual satisfaction. Plus, you don’t have to worry about hurting her feelings if it all goes wrong because you’re paying her for sex.

They can pick an attractive woman. Lots of people have a ‘type’ that they are attracted to, or they like certain things: big breasts, long legs, blonde hair, etc. And whilst if you’re dating you can keep an eye out for someone who has these attributes and prioritise them if you find them, when you pay for sex you can choose exactly who and what you want and lots of men feel like the only way they will ever have sex with a very attractive woman is if they pay for it.

Their living situation is not conducive to having decent sex. These days living in a property with lots of space is coming at a premium, especially if you’re sharing with multiple people. It’s far more likely that the bedrooms are small, the walls are comparatively thin and the occupants are living in very close quarters – all of which can put a dampener on your sex life. Most people don’t want an audience – visually or auditorially – when they’re having sex and feeling awkward is guaranteed to sap the passion from even the most promising of situations. When you put things in this context, it’s far easier and more discreet to pay someone for sex safely in the anonymity of a hotel, or if they do in-calls then at their house.

Paying for sex is a personal choice and there are lots of reasons for and against. But if you’re going to do this then there’s one golden rule – stay protected. People who have sex as their profession are going to be intimate with multiple people per day and whilst they very probably will take all the right precaution, when it comes to your own sexual health then don’t take any chances. You can choose from a wide range of condoms to find the ones best for you; ultra-thin ones, thicker ones, larger condoms, coloured or flavoured or textured ones and of course the lube to go alongside them. That way you will have safety and sexual enjoyment at your very fingertips.

Stuart Brown
Doctor of Sexual Health at the NHS Royal London Hospital & Relationship Expert. Columnist at An advocate of safe sex. Avid Arsenal fan.

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