Bad Sexual Decisions

Bad Sexual Decisions

We’re all humans - and humans make mistakes. It’s normal. No-one is perfect and for a lot of the time we’re stumbling around in the dark, not always being entirely sure which way to turn. We all have choices and making bad ones is inevitable. But that doesn’t mean that you have to open yourself up to inevitability, sometimes the bad decisions are ones that are blindingly obvious – even if it is just in retrospect – and sexual decisions are certainly no exception. In fact, they’re rate highly among the plethora of possible ‘bad decisions’ because we are driven to procreate and our brains can sometimes overrule a decision about something that is clearly bad. So – think on and avoid making these bad sexual decisions.

  • 1.One Night Stands. To be clear, we’re mainly talking about sleeping with strangers here, friends with benefits is a very different thing to hooking up with complete strangers. The latter is rarely a good idea, and often fuelled by several tequila shots on an empty stomach. Why else would you get so intimate with a complete stranger and put yourself at risk? Try and think with your sober head on, and if you’re pretty certain that this is the way the night is going to take you then go prepared. Don’t be relying on someone else for your sexual health!
  • 2.Going back to your ex. This is rarely a good idea – you split for a reason after all. Don’t fall for the rose-tinted spectacles thing, it’s easy to bathe things a golden light of positive retrospect, but going back for sex means that you are probably just signing yourself up for the same old heartache all over again. Sit on your hands, block their number, delete their social medias, rope in a friend to come over and keep your resolve strong – do whatever it takes to stop you initiating contact. You’ll almost certainly be grateful that you did in the morning.
  • 3.Having unprotected sex. Oh no, no no, not unless you’re in a committed, exclusive relationship where you are both comfortable that you don’t need condoms. Do you have any idea how many sexual infections could be loitering in someone’s loins? A lot – to put it bluntly – and they will be more than willing to jump ship and take up residence somewhere else – namely you. Don’t get caught out, always make sure that you are carrying good quality condoms that are in date and undamaged. Don’t assume that your sexual partner will provide them for you, and even if they have, you can’t be 100% certain that they are fit for purpose. And if you’re buying condoms then you may as well buy some lube to go along with them, why not get the most fun out of them?
  • 4.Paying for it. It might be known as the world’s oldest profession, but that doesn’t mean that you have to invest in it. Prostitution is a largely unregulated, un-vetted sphere of work and you will never know exactly what you’re letting yourself in for. There’s a scale of paying for sex; at one end you have what is known as high class escorts and at the other end it’s the drug-addled women in poverty that you can pick up at the side of the road for £5. Paying for sex is not a good substitute for having sex in the normal way with a willing partner and you will inevitably be looking in the wrong places for sexual and emotional validation.
  • 5.Being unfaithful. This is right up there with the biggest sexual ‘no’s’. You would be letting yourself in for a world of pain and uproar if you get discovered, infidelity is often a life-shattering thing. Do you want to lose your relationship/marriage? Do you want to only see the children at weekends? Do you want to exchange stability and love for a heady afternoon of sexual passion? Probably not. If you’re looking for sex outside of your relationship, then ask yourself why before you go diving into the infidelity pool. Is it a simple case of not enough sex? Do you feel emotionally neglected? Do you feel physically rejected? None of these are nice things to experience, but they can usually be solved or at least improved, by open communication with your partner. This makes for interesting reading if you’re still curious about the topic.
Stuart Brown
Doctor of Sexual Health at the NHS Royal London Hospital & Relationship Expert. Columnist at An advocate of safe sex. Avid Arsenal fan.

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