Why Some Men Struggle To Stay Erect

Why Some Men Struggle To Stay Erect

When you watch sex scenes in movies or read steamy love novels, men are usually ready to mingle. There’s never any discussion or trouble with the man getting hard and staying hard. However, that’s not what happens in real life. When wearing a condom, it can actually be pretty hard to stay, well, hard. When this occurs, both sex partners feel bad and blame themselves. Men think that something is wrong with them while women doubt how arousing they are. This can put an end to a fun night and even a relationship in general. This breeds low self-esteem. There are a lot of reasons why staying hard while wearing a condom is difficult, and none of them are anybody’s fault. Here are a few reasons why you or your partner can’t stay hard while using a condom.

Sexual Burn Out

Men often masturbate, watch porn, or engage in sex marathons. This can lead to high levels of exhaustion. And exhaustion can lead to sexual impotency. The body just can’t handle being aroused and used after such a strenuous activity. Therefore, when getting ready and putting a condom on, don’t be surprised if your penis can’t deal with the stress. It is not your fault, you’re just tired. Try resting your body before sexual intercourse. Stay away from excessive sexual behaviours, orgasms and stimuli if you know you’re going to sleep with someone. This will help stop overexposure. Sometimes you don’t know when you’ll be hooking up, so you can’t plan in advance. But when you can, try too. That way, when you are putting a condom on, you won’t have to explain why your penis isn’t at attention.

Lack of Proper Stimulation

With every new partner comes new sexual preferences. Everyone is different, and that includes what gets them aroused. And until you know what your partner likes, you’ll be playing a guessing game. And if your partner guesses wrong, well, it doesn’t seem like the night will go anywhere. When preparing to have sex with your new partner, try different foreplays and fetishes out. See what gets your partner and yourself hot and heavy. And don’t be afraid to encourage your partner to do what they have to do to get an erection. For males, this can include prostate stimulation. Be open with what you want to prevent a lack of proper stimulation. And if what worked before doesn’t work now with your new partner, experimentation is always welcome. A good thing to try is putting the condom on when you are doing what you like. This will build a connection between wearing a condom and getting aroused. Your body will recognise this and be ready for action.

Sexual Anxiety

Sexual anxiety is one of the most common reasons why it is difficult to stay hard when wearing a condom. Wearing a condom can put heavy burdens on the male partners. They feel as if there’s a sexual and emotional expectation from their partner to perform. As a result, penises can become flaccid in no time from all that stress. This is a psychological disorder that men with anxiety can have, so don’t think something is wrong with you. Find ways to reduce the anxieties and fear. Talk to your doctor and discuss possible medication to help relax. Once healthy alternatives to dealing with stress are discovered, the anxiety that comes with putting on a condom will be much more manageable. Wearing condoms will no longer trigger negative stress for men. It will be smooth sailing from here on out.

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Stuart Brown
Doctor of Sexual Health at the NHS Royal London Hospital & Relationship Expert. Columnist at An advocate of safe sex. Avid Arsenal fan.

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