‘Breaking up is never easy, I know, but I have to go’, undoubtedly one of the truest lines in any song, ever. And yet, it’s one of the most humbling and important experiences that you can ever experience.
In our opinion, breaking up is one of the least fun parts of adulting and yet, like taxes, cleaning and bank appointments, it’s just another one of those things that sometimes has to happen.
Of course, it’s never a nice experience, whether you’re the one initiating the break-up or the one on the receiving end. And you’d be forgiven for wanting to hide away from the whole experience. But, no matter how much you wish that it would fizzle out on its own accord, more often than not, you are going to have to do something about it.
So, whilst we agree that it’ll never be an easy experience, there are some tips and tricks that can definitely help to make the experience a little bit less painful, ensuring eventual healing for all involved.
In this blog post, we will offer our tips, tricks and suggestions for how you can make breaking up that little bit easier.
Do it in private
We’ve all experienced the awkwardness of witnessing a public break-up and aside from on the cobbled streets of Corrie, nobody wants to see that. It’s easily done though, a tense few weeks turn into full blown public meltdown, ending with one party storming into the night and vowing to never talk to the other again.
On your favourite sitcom or soap it’s perfectly acceptable, entertaining even, but on a night out, nobody has time for that.
Save yourselves the embarrassment of an irreversible public meltdown and try to schedule a time and a place for the final conversation to happen. This will not only save you from airing your grievances in public – and avoiding the possibility of ending up in a viral video – but it’ll also give you both a chance to calm and collect yourselves before it happens. In most cases, there will be some sort of lead up to a relationship coming to an end and so, in theory, there’ll be plenty of chance for you schedule a meeting beforehand.
However, if it is just one of those things and you do happen to find yourself in an avoidable public meltdown, remove yourself from the situation. Tell the other person that the conversation isn’t over, that you think you need to talk in the cold light of day and then, simply walk away.
Set some rules
If you and your partner are both ready to start over and put each other in the past, there’s probably not much need for this step. However, if you have mutual friends or are hoping that you can both be friends in the future, this step is vital
Make sure that you both set some healthy rules or guidelines for exactly how and when that is going to happen. Give yourselves enough time to get over things and be sure to agree on how you are going to make it happen. Perhaps give it a few weeks before you have any kind of contact again and at the very least, suggest that you only hang out when other people are around. This will help you to create some healthy buffer zones and barriers that will prevent any further issues from occurring, allowing you to fully change the status of your relationship.
Have a social media break
It is no fun seeing your ex moving on with their lives and it’s even less fun when you start to see them with other people. Whether you are hoping to be friends or looking to put them in your past, it’s essential that you have a cooling off period. And this means absolutely no contact, unless it’s essential for children or living arrangements.
When we say contact, we mean any kind of contact, from calls to texts and all of the social media stuff in between.
It can feel really cold to just remove your ex from your social platforms because nowadays, that’s the same as removing them from your life. But, trust us, it will seriously help in the long run and ensure that you are both able to start over again without the emotional baggage.
If you are hoping to be friends with that person, it’s ok to do this in the short-term. A clean break will make it easier for you to both move on and, in turn, to reconnect at a later date.
Look after you
This is probably the most important step because it’s the one that will have the longest impact on your mental health. But regardless of whatever happens with the break-up, make sure that you are looking after you.
At the end of the day, when a relationship ends, you become an induvial again and so, it’s ok to put yourself first.
There are so many different aspects to this tip but primarily do what is right for you. Don’t be swayed into letting the person try to convince you to do something that you don’t want to do. And whilst you should always take care of the impact you have on them, you have to look after yourself.
Do you even want to break up?
Interestingly, this point is one that I cannot stress enough. Many are often too hasty to actually break up with someone when the problems that are afoot can be indeed worked through. Maybe sit down with your significant other and pose the question to each other; Do we actually want to break up? Do we want to be apart? Heads up if the answer to this is no and you do end up staying together (this has happened to me recently), I brought this personalized anniversary gift and I gotta tell you, worth every, single, penny.