Are you approaching the menopause and slightly fearful of its impact on your sex life? Do you worry that you just won’t feel the urge any more? Women’s hormones go through a rough time once the body has declared itself done with procreation and there’s no denying that sometimes it does cause issues with sex. But for those who are worried - we live in a progressive world and innovations in medicine continue to amaze us. So, the bottom line is that if you are worried about sex during and after the menopause, we’ve put together a little guide to help you navigate your way through these new waters.
First things first, get clued up on what’s happening and get your facts straight. Knowing your stuff is important so that you can understand your body and the changes it’s going through, and having a solid understanding will also help you to accept that your sex life might take a slight dip as you go through it. It’s the changes in hormones which cause your libido to drop, but don’t panic, there are ways to get you back on track. Your first stop should be a consultation with your GP, they are the ones best placed to give you advice about the situation as a whole and discuss your options for managing hormone changes and the best way to manage them. Some women choose HRT (hormone replacement therapy) as a temporary boost for a few years, though lots don’t and prefer to manage their symptoms in different ways. Bear in mind that these hormone changes can also have an effect on your mood, which is something that you can talk to your GP about as well.
One of the big changes that heralds the arrival of the menopause is vaginal dryness. Whilst your body is all set up for carrying a pregnancy the female body takes care of natural lubrication by itself. But in later years that dries up and it can leave an unpleasant sensation during sex, and this could have a big impact on how you feel during sex and the lengths that you want to go to. Luckily, there are things to try to maximise your sexual enjoyment.
Lube, lube, lube!
Vaginal dryness is one of THE top symptoms of the menopause. But not to worry, the sexual health industry has taken care of this neatly and there are lots of artificial lubrication options out there, from all-natural ones to scented, flavoured and coloured ones. If you’re combining it with a condom, then just check that you can mix the two because some combinations will cause the rubber to perish – not what you want mid-way through. Even if you’ve never used it before, lube is very easy to get to grips with and it will instantly relieve any discomfort.
Sex choices.
Don’t let the menopause be the signal of the end of your sex life. Don’t let it affect your choices. In fact, entering a new phase of life is a perfect reason to try out new things. As they get older, women often feel more relaxed with their body shape so this is the perfect time to indulge in, well, whatever you want! Let your curiosities run free. If you have children, they’ve probably flown the nest by now which gives you the privacy when it comes to sex that you might not have had for decades. Another thing you could introduce (or augment an existing supply of) are sex toys. There’s a huge market for these so you can browse at your leisure and you might just find that a vibrator kick-starts some deeper sexual feelings. Don’t be afraid!
Another thing to try is masturbation. Either alone, as a warm-up to the main event, or doing it mutually with your partner. Test out what works for you – candlelit bath, extra soft throws on the bed, a darkened room – and take your time and space to indulge to find out what works for you now. A bonus here is that the pleasure is all yours – there’s no-one else to consider! To form an analogy, masturbating is like having a nap, it’s beneficial to body and mind and it’s a good counterbalance to the parts of the menopause that you might find more stressful.
Your body.
Keep up the exercise! Whether it’s gentle swimming, an outdoor run, a turn on the treadmill or boxercise classes, keep it going! Exercise will leave you feeling stronger and more energised, and doing some yoga moves is a great way to build core strength. Why do we want robust core strength? Because it supports the pelvic floor and that’s not something that you want to let get away from you. Even if you’re feeling sluggish, get those trainers on and get out – you never know, you might return home feeling like a new woman!
Important point: do bear in mind that you can still conceive up to the point where you haven’t had a period for 12 months. Pregnancy is often mistaken for the menopause so keep on top of that contraception, if there’s one thing that you don’t need at this time of life it’s a pregnancy scare. As usual, beware of STIs and make sure you have regular sexual health check-ups.
If you take all of this on board and get to grips with what the menopause means for YOU, that will give you the best chance of navigating these new waters in the best, and most effective, way for you.
