We all know that your sex life can get a little jaded. In the early days, sex seems to be an all-consuming thing, often happening multiple times a day, in the bedroom, on the staircase, on the kitchen table, etc., etc. But once that initial stage has tailed off, it sometimes takes a while for a new sexual groove to be created. For one thing, life has a habit of taking over, no matter how good your intentions. Jobs, children, school runs, general family stuff, other commitments outside of the home – any and all of these can mean that your sex life is firmly on the back burner, no matter your sexual intentions. Sleep deprivation is a common passion-killer, consigning new parents to the scrap heap of sex. So, if you recognise this situation, do these apply to you, are you familiar with suffering a sex drought? Apart from definitely not being alone in this, you can be reassured that there are some helpful strategies you can try out. You don’t exactly want to schedule sex, but you can spot some opportunities where it might be possible to squeeze in a quick session. But, do you want to go a step further and give your partner a special, sexual surprise? Maybe plan something that you know they’ll enjoy, but that doesn’t happen very much (if at all) any more. The good news is that you do have options that should get those bedroom vibes heating up again.
This is a bit obvious, but creating a romantic environment is an oldie, but a goodie. Dispatch the kids to grandparents or friends for the night, and work a little magic in the house before they come home from work. This is all going to sound clichéd, but there’s a reason for that – they work! So, candles lit, soft background music (gentle jazz is always a winner, unless you’re a die-hard Metallica fan), fresh bedding, decent wine chilling in the fridge, and the look on your partner’s face when they walk in the door and realise what’s going on, is going to ensure that you get what you need, as well as them.
Dressing up in saucy underwear/or a costume. Naughty Nurse, Doctor, Pilot, are some of the tame ones, but don’t be afraid to really shake up their sexual world by going further than you’ve gone before. If your partner is usually keen to stick to the basics, then take that a little further – crotch-less knickers, stockings and suspender belt, high heels, that should get his world shaken up a bit. And if he’s usually wanting to go further then full-on role play is a good idea.
Indulge them in something that you know they like, but you’re not so keen on. Oral sex is usually a good one, but there are plenty of other options as well, some naughtier than others. If you need inspiration, then turn to the internet, you’ll find plenty of suggestions there, and maybe a video or two to set the mood……
Step up your sexual game by sending sexy photos to them during the day when they’re at work. If you don’t usually (or ever) do this, then it’s a perfect sexual surprise! They don’t have to be explicit (of course they can be, up-skirt shots and the like), but tamer ones can be just as erotic, a flash of a stocking, a peep at a lacy bra, even just some sexy underwear laid out on the bed will give them a clear idea of what you have planned for later.
Invest in some different condoms - if you use them – to compliment your new approach. Choose from lubricated, ribbed, dotted, thin, extra-large ones – you have options!
How about setting a camera up in the bedroom to record your naughty night? Having your sexual romps on video to enjoy again and again is definitely a good surprise. The same goes for photos too, if you’re more comfortable with that. Lots of couples love the excitement of recording themselves!
Have a mirror you can place strategically in the room. If this isn’t something that you’ve done before, then it’s a great idea to give a little spice to your sexual proceedings. It’s well known that being able to watch yourselves having sex adds to the excitement – and therefore arousal. Your partner will probably be thrilled to know that they can see every angle.
Book a hotel room and dress up as a stripper (or other outfits) and tell them to meet you in the bar, without telling them what to expect. Shower, do your sexiest make-up, sultry eyes, red lipstick for example, and get that erotic look going. If you’ve managed to do this surreptitiously, then the look of surprise on your partner’s face as he sees you sashaying your way towards him is definitely going to be worth it. Then draw out the excitement by spending a couple of hours gently teasing him, a quick flash of stockings, a bit of cleavage as you bend down to retrieve a dropped lipstick, anything you can think of to rock his sexual world!
