To most of us, Google is a dear old friend by now. We turn to it millions of times a day to answer whatever weird and wonderful questions have floated into our minds, to find advice, information and recommendations. It’s at our fingertips and in seconds we can have the information that we’re looking for – or at least further pointers as to where it might be. What would we do without it? It would probably be a nightmarish, Orwellian world where answers are no longer with us in 0.07654 seconds.
No surprise therefore, that when we have relationship worries or concerns, it’s often Google that we turn to, rather than, well, real people! It’s a repository of all kinds of information, easily accessed. No more judgement about thorny issues from your co-workers, no more embarrassment over silly questions that you should know the answer to, Google is there to save the day! With that in mind, let’s have a look at what we ask it most often when it comes to dating and relationships – what ARE we all looking for?
- 1.Top of the list has to be – should we have sex on the first date?
We aren’t in the 1800s any more, we don’t have chaperones or first dates with another friend, but is sex the first time you meet someone morally and socially acceptable? The answer is yes, of course, because the dating landscape has changed and it’s entirely possible that you’ve been communicating with your date for quite some time prior to meeting up. You already know what they’ve told you about their life, what they look like, relationship history. It’s pretty uncommon to meet up with someone and not know a thing about them. This search term has seen 313% increase over the last 12 months. It’s a personal choice whether you choose the first, second or twentieth date to do the deed, as long as you’re both on the same page then go for it! And it goes without saying that contraception should be number on the agenda – don’t rely on the other person, invest in brand-named condoms for maximum safety and peace of mind. There are loads of options out there, but if it’s the first time with someone it’s probably a good idea to pick a straightforward, pre-lubricated one (you can also buy in bulk afterwards if you think this relationship has legs!). - 2.What is ghosting?
This is a term that’s bandied around quite a lot and might be confusing to some. Basically, in terms of dating, ‘ghosting’ is when the person ends the relationship by suddenly withdrawing from all forms of communication and attempts to get in contact are ignored. It sounds straightforward, but a surprising number of us can’t actually tell whether we have been or not, so much so that Google data tells us there has been a 421% rise in searches – in the last 12 months alone. - 3.Is it OK to date a fellow
co-worker/colleague?
This has seen a 281% rise in queries for the last year. The thing here is that it’s not necessarily dating etiquette that’s in question here, but rather whether a) your role is one that actually allows workplace dating and b) are you going to damage your job prospects by dating in the office? Whatever your personal opinion, there are three golden rules that you must follow to keep things smooth in both personal and professional life:
-Are you even allowed? Check your contract because some state specifically that no workplace relationships are allowed.
-Imagine the worst scenario in terms of a fallout. It might all be rosy in the beginning, but once the honeymoon period wears off, things could become awkward and even unprofessional if issues arise.
-If the person you’re attracted to isn’t single, then DO NOT pursue them. It might be easy to categorise them in your head into just ‘someone you like at work’, but this more than anything can jeopardise your professional position. - 4.What does ‘gaslighting’ mean?
This particularly unpleasant behaviour is where one person manipulates the other to make them question their actions, memories and thoughts and it’s done in order to control them. This is a standard feature of abusive relationships and is designed to make the other person totally uncertain in their thinking. There has been a 421% rise in Google stats and it’s not just in terms of romantic relationships, it can happen among family, friends and in workplaces. It’s sometimes a difficult thing to get past. - 5.Bread-crumbing.
This is understandably sometimes quite a confusing concept in terms of dating. Are Hansel and Gretel involved here?? This is another modern day dating trend, with a 333% increase in searches, but it’s not a new thing. ‘Bread-crumbing’ basically refers to the practice of leading people on with sporadic messages, vague social media comments that make them think they’re still interested, just little bits of contact that has the receiver still believing there’s a relationship there – actual or potential. To avoid falling victim to this, follow the three message rule: if there have been three, separate, dedicated conversations about meeting up and it still doesn’t happen, then move on – for the sake of your sanity if nothing else! Free time can be a precious commodity and you don’t want to waste it thinking that you’ll be going on a date with someone.
