For some people these two things might be polar opposites. After all, how can you possibly combine sex with your baby in an acceptable sense? But if this sounds like you, there are a whole host of things to take into account and it might be hard to believe, but having sex during pregnancy can actually be good for you and your baby. How so? Well, one of the hormones released during orgasm is oxytocin, the hormone responsible for feeling pleasure. It can also relax you and lower your blood pressure, all allowing you a more restful night’s sleep as well as lowering general anxiety levels. It also boosts your mood so it’s a win-win all round really!
That said, your feelings towards sex may change with your pregnancy and that’s totally normal too. If you’d be happier abstaining from sex until the baby is born then that’s completely up to you. Never do anything that you aren’t comfortable with. Common sex during pregnancy worries include: will it be safe? Will it be uncomfortable? Is it better if I just rest? These are questions that almost every pregnant woman asks, so we’ve put together a guide below to answer the most oft-asked worries.
Is sex during pregnancy safe?
Most of the time, yes. But as with all situations, there are exceptions. If your pregnancy is a straightforward one and your doctor hasn’t raised any concerns then you can go ahead with the bedroom action. But if you have a history of miscarriage, or you’ve been judged as having a high risk of one, then you must check with your GP first.
Will sex hurt the baby?
This is a perfectly understandable worry, after all, the two things are sharing what is, in effect, a very small space. But the answer is still categorically no. The baby is tucked up in your uterus, surrounded by the warm waters of the amniotic fluid. There might be just inches between the baby and your intimate activity, but as far as damaging the foetus goes, it may as well be light years between them. Mothers-to-be often ask whether the head of the penis is going to poke the baby in the head, and if you’re worried about this then you absolutely don’t have to be because it’s literally impossible unless you’re having sex during established labour. Which nobody should do. Ever.
Will the baby know we’re having sex?
No. Your baby won’t see or hear anything at all. You might notice more frequent kicks post-orgasm but that’s just because the baby is responding to uterine activity. You can go for it and enjoy yourself safe in the knowledge that your baby is tucked away up there, oblivious to any action going on.
What are the benefits of having sex during pregnancy?
- The intimacy and trust promotes bonding with your partner.
- It’s good for your physical health. A 30 minute sessions burns around 50 calories and it can lower your blood pressure too.
- It can relax you, leading to more, and a better quality of, sleep. Which is just perfect when your body is busily creating another one.
- Oxytocin is the stress-reducing hormone released during orgasm which can help relieve the back pain and other aches that are common during pregnancy.
It can also kick-start labour for you, which is something a lot of expectant mothers worry about. But there’s nothing to be concerned about here, it won’t induce labour unless your body is on the ‘steady’ bit of ‘ready, steady, go’. And even then, it’s very far from a guarantee. The basic physiological stuff is that orgasms can trigger uterine activity and therefore stimulate contractions to start.
Best sexual positions when pregnant?
Now that we’ve established that having sex during pregnancy is usually fine, you might be wondering how exactly you go about it with a bump in the way? Luckily, you aren’t the first to be facing this conundrum so we’ve got some tried and tested ideas for you, bearing in mind that from the second trimester onwards you shouldn’t be on your back for long periods of time and you shouldn’t have any weight pressing on your stomach.
- 1.Lying on your side (spooning) is a good one because it keeps any weight off you. If it helps you can put a pillow between your knees to make it more comfortable.
- 2.The woman on top position is a favourite with lots of women because not only does it take any pressure away from your bump, but it also leaves you in complete control of penetration depth and clitoral stimulation. And feeling in control will also ramp up your levels of relaxation.
- 3.From behind. This is probably less romantic, but sometimes sex isn’t about romance. There are a few ways to do this, and a swollen stomach doesn’t interfere at all. You can go on all fours, you can sit on your partner’s lap or you could go with your hands against the wall (work the rest of that one out by yourself).
Will it be uncomfortable?
Once you’ve worked out which positions are best for you both to enjoy yourselves, it might be a good idea to invest in some lube, just to make sure that things can go smoothly and there’s no discomfort.
Will sex induce labour?
No. Orgasms can cause the uterus to contract, but it won’t induce labour unless your body is on the verge of going into it anyway.
When is it definitely not safe to have sex during pregnancy?
Whilst for the vast majority sex can be enjoyed throughout the nine months, there are some situations where it should definitely be avoided:
- If you have a history of premature labour/birth, or signs of it.
- If you’ve been diagnosed with placenta previa or an incompetent cervix.
- If your amniotic fluid is leaking.
- Unexplained vaginal discharge, cramping or bleeding.
- If you have a multiple pregnancy (twins, triplets, etc.)
- And not if your waters have broken and/or you’re having non-orgasm induced contractions.
Sex should be something which you can enjoy throughout the nine months, unless you have health issues dictating otherwise. If you’ve got the go-ahead then there are so many benefits that you should definitely be scheduling some one-on-one time with your partner.
