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Six Strategies For Mastering Masturbation

Six Strategies For Mastering Masturbation

Masturbation tends to be a solo activity, in the main. Obviously mutual masturbation does exist, and it can be part of foreplay to a certain extent, but we normally think of it as a way to relieve sexual frustration when sex isn’t an option for whatever reason. Or maybe you do it because your sex life is flagging somewhat – it’s a totally normal and healthy thing to do. A few decades ago it was very much a taboo subject, but people were still doing it as much as they are now. There are even members of the animal kingdom that routinely indulge themselves in solo sexual pleasure, it’s a basic urge to make sure that we want to procreate. Even if it is just with your hand.

Another way to describe it is as an itch that just needs scratching. It leaves you feeling physically satisfied for a while, but there’s no real enjoyment in the process. It might be your go-to route to orgasm, but not really produce much excitement. Is that something that feels familiar? If so, you might find these masturbation strategies a real game-changer.

Where to start?

  • 1.Most people go straight to genital stimulation stage, after all, what else would you do? You only need to touch yourself in that area to orgasm, what else is there? Mindful masturbation, that’s what. Taking the time to slow down the process, really think about your pleasure and what’s going to get you to climax. Start it calmly and by engaging your mind. Measured breathing sounds boring and not a great build up to climax, but it’s actually anything but, you’re effectively teasing your body – telling it that there’s something great to come….let your mind do the work for now.
  • 2.Place the emphasis on exploring your body creatively and slowly, rather than just using it as a means to the end. Touch yourself, experiment with different sensations, use lube if you haven’t tried using it on your own before, things like that will ramp up the excitement and prolong it so your orgasm is all the more satisfying when it comes (so to speak). Having that deeper connection with your body and mind might mean that you discover sensations that you haven’t felt before – how erotic does that sound?! An undiscovered sexual plain within your own body, just lying waiting for you to explore……
  • 3.Set out your intentions, so to speak. Not a methodical timeline of events, but maybe try out something new? Plan it beforehand, stuff like trying out a new sex toy. There might be something lurking at the further recesses of your brain that you’re curious about, sexual fantasies develop over time, for example, or maybe there’s a specific sexual act that you want to explore. Whatever you have back there, it’s time to bring it to the forefront. Maybe you want to try out edging? Or anal play? If you aren’t quite confident enough to do it with a partner yet, or you want to explore it a bit more yourself, then masturbation is a perfect way to get you started!
  • 4.This is a bit of a stranger one, but paying attention to your surroundings can deepen and extend the whole experience. Rather than just a quick dip under the covers, try out mood lighting, maybe candles, dimmed lights, music and maybe a mirror…..make into a real sexual experience, rather than just a quick race to the finishing line. It might seem strange to be doing all that just for yourself, but setting the mood is a really great way to hit the self-stimulation success button as satisfyingly as possible.
  • 5.Your body has very obvious erogenous zones, you don’t need those listed out for you. If you do, then it’s time to go back to the start of your sexual snakes and ladders game. But along with these obvious ones, there are a surprising amount of non-obvious ones, like earlobes and the backs of knees. Touching yourself experimentally can open up all sorts of sexual doors for you, so try out, explore, experiment, get the lube out, get the sex toys out, try stimulating different areas of your body to see what works for you. Then you’ll be able to share these with your partner and take your sex life to new heights. Or maybe you’d prefer to keep them to yourself – whatever works, it’s up to you!

Take the time to focus on what you want. Masturbation isn’t about anyone else, don’t use this time to obediently follow someone else’s sexual preferences, this is all about you and your body and concentrating on finding the best and most satisfying way to orgasm. You probably don’t need to be told this, but there are a surprising number of people who use masturbation to explore someone else’s turn-ons. It’s great that you want to learn more about what turns your partner on, but do it another time – use this for your own personal erotic stimuli.

Stuart Brown
Doctor of Sexual Health at the NHS Royal London Hospital & Relationship Expert. Columnist at britishcondoms.uk. An advocate of safe sex. Avid Arsenal fan.

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