The internet has been around for (what feels like centuries) decades now, and we are increasingly relying on it for just about everything. We Google facts several times a day, we job hunt, we SHOP (my goodness, do we shop!), we search for just about anything we want, and that includes a life partner. Before the internet there were the ‘Personal Ads’ at the backs of newspapers and dating agencies you had to ring up (can you imagine?!). Flirting was done via handwritten letter and progress was inevitably slow. What was really different was that a fair amount of exchange about the person would take place before any dates, whereas now we arrange a quick 20 minute coffee the next day so we can yay or nay the person. And we can definitely get an answer as to whether contraception needs to be given some headspace.
Yes, we know, we know, the dating profile advice is broadly all the same – always include a photo, don’t witter on about your cats, do mention any unusual hobbies, etc., etc. But how about if you want to write a really winning dating CV - because that’s what an online profile essentially is, your pitch to a future partner about why you are so well qualified for the role – what extra thought do you need to give it then? Our advice? Speak to your best friend, or sister, or basically anyone who knows you really, really well. They might think of points you wouldn’t and they can certainly help you present the very best version of yourself.
Think about these:
- 1.BE HONEST. Seriously, that’s your first point scored. It might be tempting to take a couple of kilos off your weight, or years off your age, and to be fair the other person might not notice. But when you’ve claimed that you spent twelve months studying icebergs in the Antarctic, or teaching belly dancing in Cairo, the truth will always out and then you’ll just look like an idiot.
- 2.Avoid the clichés. You might really love ‘reading as a hobby’, or ‘enjoying a glass of red wine in front of a roaring fire’, or ‘spending time with friends’, but so does everyone else. Come up with something original (that you genuinely enjoy) and aim for something that’s a conversation starter, that can things kicked off nicely and easily.
positive. It might be tempting to give an ‘all-round’ opinion of yourself,
the bad along with the good, but don’t. Just don’t. You’re selling yourself,
people, selling yourself. So make other people want to buy you.
- 4.Keep to the finer details. You haven’t got room to write a rival to War and Peace, but you do have limited space on most dating site profiles, so keep to what’s strictly relevant. Your name, your age and where you live (rough location, not your address) and then the bit about yourself. Mention a couple of things that interest you, talk about which books and films, or what sort of holidays you like. The key thing is to illustrate you as a person, that’s what you’re trying to do here – yourself in a teacup.
- 5.Be specific. Don’t be vague on the details you include, they don’t know what the details are so if you don’t tell them, they won’t know. That sounds like a deliberately complicated riddle, but basically: you don’t want them to come away from your profile thinking “Hmm, I’m not quite sure what she’s all about. Next!”
- 6.Update it
regularly, for goodness sake. Your profile might be a winning one, you
might really have caught someone’s interest but if they see ‘last online in
2019’ they’ll be moving on swiftly. Either that or your profile stands out to
someone so they reach out to you – and discover that you are no longer a
twenty-something marine biologist with your own starter home, you now work for
the collections department for local council and rent your spare bedroom out
after some very unwise financial decisions. You won’t see that person for dust,
it’s a waste of your time and theirs.
check your spelling and grammar. If you struggle in this area then there
are online tools you can use to help you, but honestly, your profile needs to
read flawlessly because other people do judge.
- 8.ALWAYS include photos. You wouldn’t buy a car without looking at photos first and no-one will take any notice of your profile if there’s no accompanying photograph. Also, be careful which photos you use. Surprisingly, action shots often fare better than you would think. Even if your face isn’t clearly visible it’s preferable to a faux sexy pout with several filters. It shows character and that you have active interests.
If you’re still struggling to know what to put for the best, how about checking out other people’s profiles? You might get a clue or two from what they’ve written and it could be well worth your while!