Relationship Advice For Men

Relationship Advice For Men

You might wonder why men need specific relationship advice, and why advice doesn’t apply equally to both sexes across the board? The truth of the matter is that men and women often handle emotional situations very differently and women are perceived as being more emotionally aware and demonstrative. These tips are designed to clear up confusion and show the things that men really need to know in order to understand women more and get the most of their relationships with them.

Firstly, don’t discredit her feelings. You might not mean anything negative by saying things like “That’s a silly thing to say,” or “I don’t know why you’re reacting like that,” because these expressions have a tendency to invalidate feelings. Instead, maybe concentrate on apologising without admitting guilt.

Stand up for her. For example, if someone is being rude to your partner then most women will appreciate their partner standing up for them. Particularly nowadays, there’s a tendency to assume that women are just as happy to deal with every situation themselves (and the feminists will come out in force here), but chivalry is still alive and well and you can prove this by taking the initiative in standing up for your partner. You can’t really go wrong with being seen to protect her, after all, Almost all women appreciate having a strong partner on their arm to make them feel emotionally and physically safe.

Talk about what’s bothering you. Don’t give into a temptation to shut down when something is affecting you emotionally, silence rarely benefits anyone in these situations. Take the opportunity to talk to your partner - a problem shared is a problem halved after all and your partner will very probably feel emotionally closer to you as a result. If you don’t talk about your problems, then how is she meant to help you?

Share your emotions – don’t withhold things like emotions, needs, hopes or fears. Many women both want and need to have these things shared with them, it deepens the emotional bond. The old definition of a man being ‘strong and silent’ is somewhat of an outdated concept now. Don’t be afraid to open up, the benefits are really worth having and the more you do it, the more comfortable you will become with doing it. Practise makes perfect!

If she doesn’t want to have sex with you, don’t take it personally. This is something which often pops up as a problem between couples. But it’s almost certainly not about a lack of caring for you, or not loving or fancying you, it’s far more likely to be that something else is demanding their time and attention. Life admin is a classic example of this, just simple things like organising dinner every night, sorting out the children’s sports kits, walking the dog can add up to being a significant source of daily stress and demands. Understand how it might be challenging for her to refocus on you and don’t take it as a personal rejection.

Be an active listener. Don’t be the person who just bowls on into situations and starts fixing the problem without acknowledging how others might feel about it. Listen to what your partner wants and thinks. Sometimes just being there, being supportive and just listening and not declaring what they should do or say goes a long way towards creating a stronger relationship bond.

Be more decisive. Not about trivial things like booking a restaurant, or deciding on which films to watch, but the more important life events. Lots of women see a man who avoids decision making as skirting their responsibilities and this leads to frustration. A wishy-washy approach towards family, careers and relationships is a total turn-off for most women, so it’s time to step up!

Pick up some of the slack. Helping out with the children, the housework, driving around, shopping and associated life admin tasks is an excellent move. Women don’t want to feel like they have another child to look after and be responsible for – they want a life partner who helps and supports them with the daily demands of life.

Stuart Brown
Doctor of Sexual Health at the NHS Royal London Hospital & Relationship Expert. Columnist at An advocate of safe sex. Avid Arsenal fan.

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