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Thoughtful Gifts for the Thoughtfully Challenged

There are several facts in play during most holiday seasons. Men hate to shop. Period. It could be Christmas, an anniversary or a birthday. Therefore, men are thoughtfully challenged. Some think a woman should be satisfied with a sleeve of golf balls. Others go for the tried and true gifts of chocolates and flowers. Women love chocolates and flowers. But they aren’t original. Your woman will know you got her gift at the last minute and you did not think enough of her to spend time thinking about it. Is she wrong?

A quote taken from the Victoria’s Secret catalogue quotes a prominent person, Victoria Wilson,Ph.D., author of The 30-Day Sex Solution. “Even in the animal kingdom, males have to offer copulatory gifts. For women, gifts symbolize attention, affection, appreciation—basically, your feelings for her. Women are intuitive, so they expect men to be able to read their minds.”

Well we know that isn’t going to happen. The male of the species have been trying to figure out females for at least four thousand years. No one has put a lock on in yet. So when it comes to gift giving, men need a little help. It’s not like you can call you mother and tell her you’ve been shacking up with a chic and you want to get her something that isn’t too personal.

You can break the women into three groups: friends with benefits; ardent lovers; and the committed/married. Some of these gift ideas can fall into several categories.

xmas present


Friends with Benefits

You like her enough to hang out and occasionally do the dirty. If you’re lucky, sometimes she calls you for servicing. You want to get her a token gift for the holidays, but definitely nothing overly romantic. This is not a romantic relationship. Candy, flowers and especially jewelry are out. You do want something better than a sleeve of golf balls.

What is her apartment or home like? Is she the type that would go in for a coffee table book? If so, forget books or birds or cats.

The New Kama Sutra Richard Emerson, a noted sex author, has put a new spring on the book that has been around since the fourth century. If the sexual position isn’t in it, then it doesn’t exist. Emerson has brought this classic into the 21st Century. It is full of the original art from the original book and new erotic photographs. It is dedicated to lovers everywhere who want to more out of life through uninhibited sex. (This would be good for the Ardent Lovers as well as the Committed Couple as long as there were no children in the house.)

Fifty Shades Of Kink, An Intro To BDSMIs she a fan of the book series or the movie? Has she been silently giving you subliminal messages? . Tristan Taormino takes you into the world of kink and tells you everything you ever wanted to know. It is said that this book is a good beginner’s guide but can also serve as a refresher course for the more experienced. This book will give both of youtechniques and creative ideas for bondage, spanking, flogging, sensation play, rough sex and more. There are lessons on how to eroticize power, cultivate deeper connections and incorporate kink into your sex life.You will see and read about role-playing fantasies from the popular to the taboo. (This would be good for the Ardent Lovers as well as the Committed Couple as long as there were no children in the house.)

Does she seem to be a new age free spirit? Does she like crystals and oil therapy? Here is a great way to support her in fun. Voodoo You Love? The Black Magic Guide To Getting Lucky, Getting Even is a book and game she will love to share with her friends. You can even give a bottle of her favorite wine for her to share during her first Voodoo party. This gift includes 1 Voodoo Doll, 8 pins, and the 80-page illustrated Voodoo You Love? Book. From Sterling Publishing Co.

There is no reason why the gift you give to your friend with benefits can’t be shared with you. If you didn’t know by now, women love candles – every size and shape from the tiny tea lights to the big pillar candles. And they must have a great scent. Her are a few that will serve a dual purpose:



JimmyJane Afterglow Candle. This candle is a multi-tasker as can be used as scent, illumination, massage and skincare. She lights the wick and the candle melts into a silky smooth massage oil. It comes in four scents: Bourbon, Pink Lotus, Cucumber Water, and Dark Vanilla. For the vegans and eco-friendly it No phthalates, sulfates, petrochemicals, animal products or animal testing. For her skin it contains Jojoba, Shea Butter, Vitamin E, Soy and Aloe. It will burn for up to 32 hours. This is really a candle she will appreciate. This is one gift that is great for all the women in your life – except for relatives.

A little on the wilder side is the Wanna be Wild Soy Strawberries and Champagne Soy Massage Candle. While it might be considered romantic a la Pretty Woman and Richard Gere (she was a hooker!), you may want to include a few chocolate dipped strawberries. The candle is heart shaped and paraben free. It is also sulfate and sugar-free. Once the candle burns it turns into a rich, moisturizing massage oil.

Do you want to kick it up a notch? Do your benefits include super-hot shower sex? Well, this is a thoughtful gift that will keep her from slipping in the shower. It can be attached at will and then removed until it is needed again. Sex in the shower Dual Locking Suction Handle gives both of you a little more stability in the shower. The strong waterproof plastic handle features two secure suction cups which lock onto any smooth surface with a diameter of at least 4 inches. Perfect for maintaining grip in a slippery environment, this handle can be used to achieve amazing positions. It is easy and so much fun to use, you'll be running up the water bill. Flip the levers to the up position and press the handle firmly against the shower wall or tub rim. Activate the suction by pressing the flip levers down until they lock into position. To remove the handle, just pull the flip levers up to disengage suction.

Shower head


Ardent Lovers

If you are in a monogamous or semi-monogamous relationship with a woman, you want her gift to be more than a token but you are definitely not into the jewelry stage. Even if you buy her a pendant or tennis bracelet, it can be misconstrued as meaning more than you want it to. In this category, the lovers are not living together but spend the night together quite often.

Also, not every man is in the top 1% of wage earners, so keeping to a respectable budget is also a priority.

Sometimes you stay overnight at her place and other times she sleeps at yours. However, when she stays with you, it seems she always winds up wearing one of your shirts after sex and in the morning. Here are a few ideas from Victoria’s Secret. You can’t go wrong. This is a very sensuous line. You may have another store in your area that is just as good, but the VS name is huge and you can shop on line.

Sleepover Cotton Knit Robe This isn’t your granny’s robe. It comes in extra-small to extra-large so sizing shouldn’t be a problem. There are five colors: black, navy, red, fuchsia and light pink. It has the signature “VS” monogrammed on the chest. It comes to right above the knee and has a tie belt.

They also have a nice, sexy Satin Kimono. It’s in a multi-color pattern and comes to mid-thigh. It also has a tie belt.

There are those who think that gift cards are for the lazy – but women love them if they are to their favorite stores. If you can spring for a gift card with a generous amount of spending power, count on Victoria Secret. She will buy some sexy lingerie – in the right size – that you both will enjoy.

While it is not exactly a gift certificate, you can give her a half or full day a good spa. She can choose what she wants from their menu like facials, massages, manicures, pedicures and much, much more. She will feel truly pampered.

If you know her favorite color, or the color scheme of her bedroom, you can always buy a set of satin sheets.

Satin sheet


It is reasonable for you to buy a gift that could possible benefit both of you. Nothing says good sex like a lube that can be used for massage as well as for sexual encounters. 

Cobeco Water Based Lube The gel has been dermatologically tested and can simply be used on every spot of the body. It is latex-safe, does not stick and does not dry up. It can be used for full body massages, erotic play and as a personal lube when needed.

Durex Play Aloe Vera is among the best-selling personal lubes because of the gentle properties and goodness of the Aloe on her skin. This formula is non-staining, water based and can be used with personal toys as well as vaginal sex. Use it as a gentle full-body massage gel that absorbs into skin with a non-greasy feel.

Bring Some Fun back to the Bedroom

Here are some ideas for the couples who have been together for a while and maybe because of kids or whatever, some of the passion has waned.

Book a night at a good hotel in your city for a mini stay-cation. You could ensure that you have one red rose in a bud vase waiting for her. You will want to bring along the Romantic Essentials Kit.  The kit contains warming massage oil, bubble bath, a sprinkle of scented silk rose petals, mood setting tea lights, breath mints and a mini romance guide. It would also be a romantic treat if you brought a CD player and had some sensuous music playing background. She will be amazed at your thoughtfulness.

If you are a more energetic or adventurous couple, substitute the Red Roses Lovers Kit for the Romantic Essentials kit. This is for serious lovers. The kit contains A tapered anal plug, 10- strand anal beads varying in size, flexible jelly dildo, duo love balls, a powerful, classically-shaped vibrator, a multi-speed wired vibrating bullet, a flexible Jelly-lips cock ring, Jelly penis support sleeve with stimulation nubs, a jelly stimulation extension sleeve suitable for the penis or a vibrator (has a 2cm extension). Batteries are included. Just be sure the walls are thick enough so the people next door do not complain about the noise.

Want to be more naughty than nice? Then bring your Naughty Weekender Kit with you. There will be no boring moments while you’re away. This kit contains a board game, tea lights, blindfold, body candy, massage oils, body balm and a set of instructions. It will be fun for both of you to go through the instructions and see who does what to whom.

If she likes sexy clothes consider a Black Satin Chemise and Robe Set. You can get really wild and go for a Lace Thong Crotchless Teddy. She will feel sexy and you will certainly get turned on. Edible underwear just will not cut it for the holidays. You want something that will last and she will remember the sexy times you had together.

Here is the big bonanza surprise for the woman who has everything and the man who wants some more of what she has. This isn’t romantic but she will be astonished by the amount of time it took you to come up with the Fetish Fantasy Inflatable Bondage Ball. The rounded, flocked design allows you to relax in any position without sliding off. The E-Z Grip Luv Handles are perfect for maintaining any position without losing your rhythm. It is easy to inflate and deflate which makes it portable. Take it with you on any of your get-aways!


These ideas make selecting a special gift for a special lady much easier. Pick one and she will no longer complain that you are thoughtless at least for a night or two!

2nd Dec 2016

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