null

The Best Condom for the Beginner

When anyone thinks about a young man using a condom for the first time, the first person who comes to mind is that really randy high school lad who at least knows the fundamentals of safe sex. Hold that thought. There are thousands of men, young and old, who are about to use a condom for the first time.

These are the men who have previously been in a monogamous relationship, probably previously married. It can be a man of 30 who is recently divorced and his former wife had been his only sexual experience. She and he were firsts for each other. Then you may have a middle-aged or older man whose wife has passed away and he is trying the singles’ scene for the first time in his life. When he and his wife first became intimate years ago, she was on the pill.

Tines have changed and so have the possibilities of catching some disease or worse for these men, making a woman pregnant. The men in their golden years dating women over 48 or so do not have to worry about pregnancy. But this age group is one of the highest in numbers of newly diagnosed cases of HIV and STDs in the western world. Just because a woman cannot conceive does not mean she doesn’t have one of the highly contagious viruses or bacteria.

The title of this blog would make one believe we are going to give you the name of the absolute best condom for any man who is using one for the first time. And the winner is: ___________. That’s right. There is no name. Why? Because what’s best for an 18 year old may not be the best for a 50 year old man. What’s best for a man with a slight build may not be the best for a man who is as large as a redwood tree. And what’s best for any of these men may not be the best for a man who has latex sensitivities.

Selecting the right condom is a very personal decision. There are lots of variables that go into making the decision.

You must have the right material

Men who are new to condoms may be scratching their heads at this point. A condom is a condom, right? Wrong. Condoms are now made in three types of material: latex, polyurethane and a newer material, Polyisoprene. Know the difference.

Latex has been used for generations and comes from the rubber tree plant. This is why men of the old school would call them ‘rubbers’. Over the years manufacturers have pulled, tugged and introduced new chemicals to make latex condoms with textures, sensations and different thicknesses. For a beginner, forget the fancy additions and stick with the everyday condom. However, some men and women have latex sensitivities. The way to know this for sure is to purchase an inexpensive non-lubricated condom and rub it against your skin. If you do not have an allergic reaction, you can use latex. Reactions for those with sensitivities can run the gamut from simple hives and rashes to the extreme of swelling of the face and tongue where you cannot breathe. (If this happens, seek immediate medical help.)

Polyurethane condoms are a good alternative for the person who has sensitivities to latex. The material is really a thin, clear piece of plastic. They are just as reliable as latex and some men who are not sensitivity to latex like them better. They seem to be thinner and stronger than latex condoms and they do not fit as tightly. They do conduct body heat better than latex and thus may increase your total experience. There is a downside. They do not have the stretching capacity of latex. If the condom is too baggy it may slip off during sex. Also, for the budget conscious, they are more expensive than latex condoms.

Polyisoprene is really an alternative form of latex but it is manufactured in such a way that it does not contain the allergens that promote irritations. When compared with polyurethane condoms they feel much more skin-like because they are softer – and they are not made of plastic. They stretch better than polyurethane which means that they may provide a better fit.

Now you know the players. You make the decision on which material you want to try for your first condom experience.

Know your Size

The novice may wonder what they are talking about. One size fits all men! Do one pair of jeans fit all men? Can one sweater fit all men? Get the picture? Men come is all types of shapes and sizes and so do condoms. If you know your size, you have some powerful knowledge.

So, take a moment by yourself and grab your tape measure. There are also plenty of brand websites that will have measuring devices you can print. Just remember that whatever size you measure may be for just their condoms. Each manufacturer has its own sizing guidelines.

Condoms are sold according to length and girth (thickness). According to clinical sites most men are between four and nine inches when erect. Also, the girth is usually within a one to two inch proportion. When you are measuring the circumference of your penis, you will want to draw a circle of the exact dimensions. Then measure across the center and you will get your girth.

Remember, you must measure an erect penis. It does you no good to measure a flaccid one. If you wind up trying a condom that is within your parameters and you feel that the condom is too tight at the tip, there are condoms made where the girth is less at the base than it is at the head. This should fit better and give you more sensation.

If you are longer than nine inches, shorter than four inches or miss the mark on girth, there is no need to worry that somehow you will lose out. Most manufacturers offer condoms that have special sizing.

You may be surprised to learn that even seasoned users complain of irregular fit. In one recent survey of 3,000 men half the men stated that a ‘standard condom’ did not fit right. Fifteen percent said they were too baggy and another 25% said they were too tight. Of this group 10% said that they were much too tight.

Knowledge is power. You know your size and have the power to purchase the right condom for you.

The Proper way to roll on a Condom

This does not take a rocket scientist. Millions of men roll them on with ease every day of the year. It just takes a little practice at first (bit like showing off your show plates). You can purchase some very inexpensive condoms to practice with at home. If you feel like you can’t afford to purchase them just for practice, there are many places in communities where you can get them for free. Many school nurses will provide teens with condoms. Colleges and universities will have health departments where you can get them gratis. If you are an adult, many family planning and local government health clinics will supply you.

Do not expect the freebies to be special. They will be plain, everyday condoms. They are perfect for practice prior to you buying your condom of choice.

  • 1.Give yourself an erection.
  • 2.Open the condom packet. Do not tear it with your teeth or fingernails as this could damage the condom.
  • 3.If you are uncircumcised, it is better to pull the foreskin back.
  • 4.When you are engaging in foreplay, put on your condom before you come in contact with any part of the woman’s vagina or surrounding area. You can pick up infections from her body fluids.
  • 5.If your condom has a ‘reservoir end’ or ‘teat end’ this gives you extra room for your semen without worrying about leakage. However, you need to pinch the air out of the end before you roll the condom all the way down.

After sex you will need to withdraw from your partner before you become soft or else the condom will slip off. You should hold the condom at the base and slowly withdraw. Some men like to tie the end of the condom in a knot before disposing of it. You can wrap it in tissue if you want to be discrete but do not flush a used condom in the toilet. Generally they are not eco-friendly and can stop up the plumbing.

Know the Terms

When you are buying your first condom you will see quite a lot of different terms that are confounding. Here is a brief dictionary and definition:

Textured condoms have ribs, studs and nubs. These are embedded to give the women more sensations. You would only want to use these when you have been with a partner for a while and want a change of pace for her. They are made to help- a woman achieve an orgasm faster.

Sensitive condomsare made thinner than the average condom and are said to offer additional sensitivity for both partners.

Extra strength condoms are just that. They are thicker than your average condom. Those who engage in anal sex will want an extra strength as those who may ride a bit harder than the average man. These types of condoms are also used for masturbation by a lot of men - great for staring at those favourite celebs such as Tessa Fowler nude pics!

Magnum sizes are always larger. There are also XL and XXL sizes.

Snugger fit sizes are made for the man who is smaller than average. Should you need these and are looking in a retail outlet the term ‘snugger fit’ is not as obvious as SMALLER.

Contoured condoms are those made to follow the natural contours of a penis. Most condoms are straight and the contoured shape may have a better fit thus making the experience much better

Climax control condoms have a solution in the tip of the condom that desensitizes the head of the penis. This is not something you want to experiment with your first time.

Warming condoms are supposed to conduct more heat to the genitals for both partners. Again, this is not one to play with the first time. It could be that you or your partner could be sensitive to the lube.

Many couples where the woman is of childbearing years believe that oral sex is a good alternative so there is not an unwanted pregnancy. This is true for the most part. However, experts caution that both parties should consider using a condom for oral sex because STDs can still be shared.

For this purpose manufacturers have made flavored condoms in many fruit flavors. These block the taste of the latex. There are also special dams made out of a very thing piece of latex that are flavored.

Additional Information

You should always use a new condom every time you have sex. Condoms cannot be re-used. If used according to directions every time you have sex they are 98% effective at preventing pregnancy.

If you use additional lubrication, you can only use water-based lubes with latex and Polyisoprene condoms. If you use anything with an oil base like lotion or Vaseline, the latex can become damaged. With polyurethane condoms you can use either. The plastic will not deteriorate.

You need to store your condoms in a cool, dry place. If you place one in your billfold and do not use it, take it out when you get home. All too often men leave them in their wallets and when D-Day comes, they find out that the latex has dried out and has become brittle. Also pay attention to the expiration date. Condoms do have expiration dates just like a carton of milk.

Check to see if the condoms you are purchasing have the correct national codes to certify they have been tested and meet government requirements.

Here are a few hints that are not endorsements but merely stating facts. If you have determined you want brand that makes larger than standard condoms, try major brands like Trojan Magnum, Maxx, Pleasure Plus or Durex. If you decide to use the brands of thinner condoms like Kimono and Maxx, add a drop or two of lube in the tip of the condom. This will allow you to slip around more and enjoy more sensations.

One final note – you may have heard other men boasting about the feel of natural lambskin condoms. These are the most expensive yet the best feeling condoms as far as natural sensations are concerns. However, there is one big drawback. They do prevent pregnancy. They do not prevent the spread of disease. They are best used by monogamous couples who have been tested and are disease free. 

Stuart Brown
Doctor of Sexual Health at the NHS Royal London Hospital & Relationship Expert. Columnist at britishcondoms.uk. An advocate of safe sex. Avid Arsenal fan.

Follow Stuart on Twitter

Leave a Reply