Have you ever heard the saying ‘truth is stranger than fiction’? In the case in the life of condoms, this can be an accurate statement. For those who followed the old sitcom Cheers or watch the reruns today, you know all about Cliff Clavin. Yes, this postal genius has something to say about everything. Generally, he was pulling facts out of his butt.
However, armed with the following facts you can wow your friends with your plethora of strange knowledge about condoms. You will be renames ‘The Oracle’. Some of these are fun and some are really important. One thing is for certain, you will enjoy reading them!
1. Contrary to popular belief, condoms are not new
You can teach an old dog new tricks as evidenced by all the specialty condoms that have been manufactured in the past decade. Believe it or not, some scientists propose that condoms were used as far back as 11,000 B.C. No, they weren’t today’s nicely fitting latex models, but they were condoms. Some of the oldest cave paintings that have been discovered in caves in France have shown ‘condom objects’.
What made these contraptions condoms? The original condoms did not cover the entire penis. Before 1600, men in China would place pieces of oiled silk paper over the head of their penises. Not to be outdone, men in Japan used ‘tortoise-shell’ caps. One would wonder how these remained on during the deed. Maybe they didn’t. Perhaps this is the first use of the concept of an IUD based on the notion that if an inanimate object was placed in the vagina, it would prevent pregnancy. It certainly would not have protected either partner from venereal disease.
The oldest surviving condom dates back to 1640 and was found in Lund, Sweden. It was made from a pig’s intestine and was supposedly reusable. (OMG) This little piggy condom came with thorough instructions that were written in Latin which suggested washing the object in warm water to keep from catching a disease. Egyptians also used condoms made from animals including animal bladders, fish skin and leather. (Talk about loss of sensation!). They also used silk and linen
2. Yes, Virginia, there are condoms especially for vegans
For some people, being a vegan is almost like a religion. They are really strict about having nothing to eat or to touch that has any animal parts. These are called ethical vegans. This concept is extremely difficult for many manufacturers. Even the best latex condoms are made with casein which is a milk protein.
There has always been the option of using lambskin, but of course that comes from sheep. Sheep are animals. Condom manufacturer Condomi ‘fixed’ the conundrum by using cocoa powder instead of casein. When you have this condom and do not have a partner, we wonder if it could be used to brew a nice cup of hot chocolate! Maybe Cliff Clavin would know.
3. Many condoms are too large for Indian men
This is not a judgement statement. After all, India has an unbelievable population, so what the Indian man does have seems to be working very well.
There was a study in 2006 that was conducted by the Indian Council of Medical Research that studied the penis size of Indian men. What they discovered was that 60% of the Indian men studied had penises that were several centimeters shorter than the standard length of the most popular condoms. Because of lack of fit, it caused the condom to fail about 20% of the time. Maybe this is one of the reasons for the high population rate, but more importantly it impacted the rate of diagnosed AIDS cases.
Following this study Thailand’s Ministry of Public Health announced that STDs and HIV had increased five-fold in the past 10 years. He blames this on the fact that teens were not purchasing condoms with the right fit. He says that the young men would buy larger condoms to impress their friends and didn’t want to appear ‘lacking’ in their masculine appendages.
4. The average condom can hold a gallon of liquid
Sorry, dudes. If you have been telling your lady friends that you can’t use condoms because you emit a prolific amount of semen, it won’t wash. This fact and their incredible ability to stretch have given them other important uses.
During the big War it is rumored that many soldiers used them to prevent their rifles from becoming damaged by water, They were used to start fires (although we hope the enemy couldn’t smell the rubber burning), they helped with the application of first aid and they could also be stretched to the point where they could be used as slingshots to hunt small game.
5. Condoms are the cheapest form of birth control
Yes, you can spend a good amount for specialty condoms, but the basic condom is very inexpensive. And if you are a person who is in a financial bind, your local health department will give you a complimentary supply. You have no reason for not having a condom.
6. A restaurant owner in Hong Kong invented an edible condom
You have heard of flavoured condoms, but this is pushing the envelope. It is suggested that you do not order this dish if you are the least bit squeamish. Alvin Lung of Bo Innovation named his dish “sex on the Beach”.
It turns out to be a pink condom that is made from edible seaweed and a root to form gelatin. It is laid on a bed of powdered shitake mushrooms that wind up looking like sand. This does not seem disgusting at all. However, Lung put a cherry on top of his creation. The tip of the condom is made from a blend of honey and Yunnan ham with the end result being a white gooey substance.
Do not frown on this creative genius. His dish was intended to draw attention to Hong Kong’s HIV/AIDS epidemic. And proceeds for the sale went to benefit AIDS Concern in Hong Kong.
7. China holds the world record for the largest condom
This is fact, not fiction. This particular prophylactic was made just for the celebration of World Population Day. The condom measured 80 meters by 100 meters. We dare any man to say it was his size! Everyone got to see it because it was placed on top of a hotel in in Guilin, China.
8. Condoms are standard issue for military men the world over. By now, they may be standard issue for women as well.
This may have all begun with the German military in the 19th century. Then 1927 through 1931 all American soldiers received that standard issue. They certainly didn’t want the men coming back home with something they did not leave with.
9. During the 2000 Summer Sydney Olympic Games there were 6,582 male athletes. The Olympic Committee distributed 70,000 free condoms.
And they ran out. One plus one equals two every day of the year. When you put together male and female athletes in dorm rooms, what would you expect from these young people in the prime of their lives? The 70,000 condoms came out to 10 per male. TEN! The Committee had to place an emergency order for another 20,000. Can you imagine a teenage girl going home and telling her parents that she didn’t bring back a medal but she did bring back a baby!
Future Olympic Games learned from the experience in Sydney.Officials at 2014’s Sochi Winter Games distributed 100,000 condoms (an average of about 35 condoms per athlete), and a staggering 150,000 free condoms were given out at the 2012 London Olympics.
When you think about it, during the original Olympics in Greece the men performed in the nude. Maybe there will be a new Olympic challenge in the future – who can last the longest.
