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Fast FREE Discreet Delivery on All Orders

We offer FREE delivery on all UK orders. Our average order despatch time is within 1-2 working days of receipt. For those who wish to speed up our already fast average delivery time, we also provide two further delivery options to our UK customers.

We believe that shopping online for safe sex products should enhance and not compromise your privacy. Every package we send leaves our warehouse in discreet packaging so that your business remains your business.

In addition, your bank/card statements will show "BC Trading" and not British Condoms. This ensures that your privacy is protected in every way possible.

INTERNATIONAL CUSTOMERS: We are required by customs to label orders shipped to countries outside of the EU. For your discretion we label these orders as containing "Health Products".

Orders shipped within the EU are treated in the same way as a UK order, a customs label is not required.

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365 DAY NO HASSLE RETURN

We want you to be totally confident about every order you place, so we have a 365 day no-quibble returns policy to put your mind at ease.

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We value our customers and would like to reward you for shopping with us. We offer the most generous rewards programs in the industry. Shop with us and you will earn 10% back automatically, to be used on future purchases. There are no fees to join, all you need is an account!

It really is that easy. If you shop at British Condoms for all of your condoms and related needs, you can earn some serious rewards. Why shop anywhere else?

Low Prices Guaranteed

We guarantee that our standard prices are already cheaper than the high street. However there are 3 ways that you can make even larger savings:

1. We off multi buy discounts on all of our condoms, condom trial and value packs, lubricants and enhancers. These discounts enable you to save an extra 15% when buying 3 or more of the same item, or a massive 25% when you purchase 6 or more.

2. Additionally, you can save an extra 10% for liking us on Facebook, following us on Twitter, +1’ing us on Google+, or simply joining our ‘offer alerts’ email. This saving can be made by clicking the tab on the right hand side of the screen, then choosing your preferred method. A discount code worth 10% off will then be presented to you instantly (on the screen), which you can copy and paste in at the checkout.

3. On top of all of that, we offer the most generous rewards program a in the industry, which gives account holders 10% back on every purchase with us.

If you combine these 3 methods together, massive savings can be made. So what are you waiting for? Shop now!

Discreet Delivery on All Orders

We believe that shopping online for safe sex products should enhance and not compromise your privacy. Every package we send leaves our warehouse in discreet packaging so that your business remains your business.

In addition, your bank/card statements will show "BC Trading" and not British Condoms. This ensures that your privacy is protected in every way possible.

INTERNATIONAL CUSTOMERS: We are required by customs to label orders shipped to countries outside of the EU. For your discretion we label these orders as containing "Health Products".

Orders shipped within the EU are treated in the same way as a UK order, a customs label is not required.

The Hot Tub

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My company pays well for my travel, but certainly not first class. I think if there was steerage on an airplane, they would book it to save a few bucks. I was checking in to a hotel they reserved for a conference and I was told that the hotel had over-booked. I told them it sounded like a personal problem to me, so what were they planning to do? The clerk told me that the only room they had was a two room suite on the penthouse floor. I told them I would take it for the same price as my room they gave away. They took the deal.

It was the first time in my life I was envious of the rich and famous. It was only two rooms plus bath but it was posh. I had a nice fluffy robe on the back of the bathroom door and a well-stocked complimentary mini-bar with fridge. I got a beautiful view of all the city lights and I had a private hot tub just a few steps away from my sliding glass door. There were lights around the hot tub so you could see to walk, but there were no lights inside where you could see a person’s private parts.

I took a shower and wrapped myself in the robe and poured myself a drink from the bar. This was the life. I heard some splashing in the hot tub and wondered if pigeons had landed in it. I looked out the curtains and I could see a female frolicking in my personal hot tub. I was pissed. She had to go. She was a trespasser. I was a V.I.P.

When I went outside I didn’t bother to belt my robe and my Johnson was there for anyone to see. Trespassing chick was in the water deep enough where her tits were floating – and she did have a nice pair. My hand automatically went to my cock which was taking in the action as well and I stroked it as it became harder and harder. It didn’t embarrass me; she was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I may have startled her when I asked what she thought she was doing in my hot tub. She gave me a song and dance about how she didn’t know it was private. Bull. The whole time she was giving me her excuses she didn’t take her eyes away from my hand and cock. She dipped lower in the water and I could tell she was diddling herself. It was fun to watch her maker herself come thinking I didn’t know what she was doing. My cock knew, and a big splotch of pre-cum was coating the head.

Still watching me stroke myself she told me if I would take off the robe and sit on the edge of the tub she would take care of the big problem I had. Flattery always works. I took off the robe and sat down at the edge of the hot tub with my balls dangling over the lip and my cock looking at her face. Before she began her magic she played with her tits and nipples. She made a sound like she had just eaten a huge sundae. She was going to eat, but it was Tuesday.

First she fondled my sack. Her hands were warm from the water and maybe from playing with her pussy. She was very gentle. Then she took some water and slicked the shaft of my cock. She ran her hand up and down about a dozen times and I thought I was going to lose it. Then she took me by the base and leveled my cock with her mouth and sucked me in. It felt so fine I wanted it to last for an hour.

I have never lasted an hour at anything – oral sex, anal sex or vanilla sex. I wasn’t going to last much longer with her tongue playing around the ring of the head and then trying to stick it through the slit. She changed tactics and took me deep while still trying to suck my brains out through my cock. I gave her fair warning that I was about to shoot and it was going to be a long, hot episode. She let me plop out of her mouth and finished me with her hand. I sent about five long shots into the tub and she watched with fascination. She squeezed and pumped to ensure there wasn’t a drop left.

She got out and walked naked down the veranda to another room. I stayed where I was because my legs had turned to jelly and I didn’t think they were going to hold me up.

During the conference the next day I thought about her and hoped she would be back later on that evening. Only this time I wanted to get in the water and fuck her until she didn’t know her name. Come to think of it, I didn’t know her name either.

I had tried to have sex in the ocean once – just once. We had played on our blanket until it was do or die. She ran into the waves and I rolled on my condom and joined her. It was not easy to walk because I was really ready, so I held my cock still with my hand. She jumped up and locked her legs around me, reached between us and aimed the head of my cock in her honey hole. I thrust up to get inside and she acted like I was trying to kill her. She said it hurt too badly. I did not take her at her word and thrust again. Her scream was louder and she hauled off and knocked me on the side of my head. I dropped her – literally and figuratively. She went back up on the secluded beach and I stood in the water jacking off.

When I told my buddies about it they nearly laughed their asses off. Then they told me that if I was using a regular condom, the lube was water-soluble and by the time I tried to fuck her it was all gone. Plus the salt water could have washed away her natural lubrication. Why the hell don’t they tell you that on a pack of rubbers?

So I’ve stayed away from water fucking but I wanted to try again. I stopped by a well-stocked pharmacy and looked over all my choices of condoms. I found one that was not made of latex. The package said it was thin and that the extra lubrication was appropriate for anal sex. I wasn’t going to fuck her ass, but this condom certainly would hold its own in the water.

After dinner I showered and put on my robe and listened for the splashing. It didn’t take too long. I untied my robe and got myself hard so she could see my cock straining in front of me. From my earlier experience with her I knew she liked the size of it, and she especially liked watching me stroke myself.

I went out, cock in hand, stroked, and asked her why she was trespassing again. She just licked her lips and kept staring at my hand motion. I told her she would have to pay the piper for trespassing again – I was going to fuck her right there in the hot tub. She began rubbing her tits and I told her that was my job.

I hung my robe over a chair but not before I grabbed a special condom from my pocket. I teased her by slowly tearing it open and then stroking myself some more. She asked me to hurry. I rolled on the condom and got into the water. She thought she was going to jump my bones but I told her to kneel on the seat, spread wide, and lean over the edge. I was coming in the back door.

She did what I asked and I fingered her to make sure she was ready for entry. She was more than ready. She was hot and wet. I stood behind her and opened her pussy lips with one hand and positioned the head of my cock with the other. I got the head in and she tried to lean back into me to take more. I slapped her bare butt a few times and told her I was in charge.

I pushed into that sweet pussy and it was like a hot knife slicing through butter. I got in to my balls with one thrust. She nearly went crazy. I wanted to fuck her hard and fast so I pumped and pumped. The problem was every time I pulled back and pushed in with force, I displaced too much water.

So I pulled out and sat on a seat and had her straddle my lap. She settled down on my cock and ground her clit against my pubic bone until she came. I had one of her tits in my mouth but had to drop it to kiss her to muffle her scream. When her pussy muscles began to relax I moved her up a couple of inches so I could get my fucking in. Pounding up in her was like an agitator washing machine. It didn’t misplace water and felt like heaven.

I pumped into her with each shot of come. I think my cock expanded to twice its size and I am glad that condom was made for ass fucking. I think I would have blown the top off a standard condom. I didn’t bother taking it off until I got out of the water.

She ran her hand down my chest and then cupped my balls. She asked when I was leaving and I told her I had two nights left. I also had two of my special condoms left as well.

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