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Fast FREE Discreet Delivery on All Orders

We offer FREE delivery on all UK orders. Our average order despatch time is within 1-2 working days of receipt. For those who wish to speed up our already fast average delivery time, we also provide two further delivery options to our UK customers.

We believe that shopping online for safe sex products should enhance and not compromise your privacy. Every package we send leaves our warehouse in discreet packaging so that your business remains your business.

In addition, your bank/card statements will show "BC Trading" and not British Condoms. This ensures that your privacy is protected in every way possible.

INTERNATIONAL CUSTOMERS: We are required by customs to label orders shipped to countries outside of the EU. For your discretion we label these orders as containing "Health Products".

Orders shipped within the EU are treated in the same way as a UK order, a customs label is not required.

99.8% Positive Customer Feedback

We use Yotpo, an independent review company to monitor the happiness of our customers shopping experience. This not only allows us to see how we are doing in terms of delivering a fantastic level of service, but also means that we are more transparent.


We want you to be totally confident about every order you place, so we have a 365 day no-quibble returns policy to put your mind at ease.

  • You can return anything for any reason, even if you just didn’t like it, including if it’s been opened, worn or used.
  • You can return your parcel within the UK completely free by using the return address on the address label.
  • You will get an immediate replacement (if in stock) or full refund

10% Discount for Account Holders

We value our customers and would like to reward you for shopping with us. We offer the most generous rewards programs in the industry. Shop with us and you will earn 10% back automatically, to be used on future purchases. There are no fees to join, all you need is an account!

It really is that easy. If you shop at British Condoms for all of your condoms and related needs, you can earn some serious rewards. Why shop anywhere else?

Low Prices Guaranteed

We guarantee that our standard prices are already cheaper than the high street. However there are 3 ways that you can make even larger savings:

1. We off multi buy discounts on all of our condoms, condom trial and value packs, lubricants and enhancers. These discounts enable you to save an extra 15% when buying 3 or more of the same item, or a massive 25% when you purchase 6 or more.

2. Additionally, you can save an extra 10% for liking us on Facebook, following us on Twitter, +1’ing us on Google+, or simply joining our ‘offer alerts’ email. This saving can be made by clicking the tab on the right hand side of the screen, then choosing your preferred method. A discount code worth 10% off will then be presented to you instantly (on the screen), which you can copy and paste in at the checkout.

3. On top of all of that, we offer the most generous rewards program a in the industry, which gives account holders 10% back on every purchase with us.

If you combine these 3 methods together, massive savings can be made. So what are you waiting for? Shop now!

Discreet Delivery on All Orders

We believe that shopping online for safe sex products should enhance and not compromise your privacy. Every package we send leaves our warehouse in discreet packaging so that your business remains your business.

In addition, your bank/card statements will show "BC Trading" and not British Condoms. This ensures that your privacy is protected in every way possible.

INTERNATIONAL CUSTOMERS: We are required by customs to label orders shipped to countries outside of the EU. For your discretion we label these orders as containing "Health Products".

Orders shipped within the EU are treated in the same way as a UK order, a customs label is not required.


Pay Me or Trade Me

Posted on

Hello. Do you know me? I may know you. If you have enough money, you may be on my client list. Women may call me a whore. Whores may call me a prostitute. However, I am considered an escort – a very well paid escort. When women see me they want to be like me. To them I am sort of a role model. When men see me, they want me. Period.

I am in my 30’s which you may think is too old for my type of profession. You’re thinking of the street walkers and common whores. There is nothing common about me. I am attractive, yes. I do not paint my face like a clown. I wear only the best designer clothes, many of which have been gifts. My perfume is subtle and expensive – just like me. I am well educated, speak three languages fluently, and appear to be a sophisticated upper crust business woman.

The average man cannot afford me. I probably have more money in the bank and savings than 75% of the men around me. I never make big deposits ensuring I fly under the radar. I do not take plastic. However, there is a service that calls me from time to time to see if I am free and they demand payment up front and take every credit card known to exist. For all intents and purposes my income comes from them where I am a public relations specialist.

Like most women in my profession I keep a book of clients and some information about them, especially their preferences. If it is a really good client, I will make note of his birthday and some other trivia. I am not as stupid as some of the girls. Since I have clients in the public eye I have devised my own codes that I am sure even the top government hackers could not decipher.

You may believe that men call a high-priced escort to only have kinky sex they can’t get at home. Some do. Some like to role play. I would say 25% of my steady clients and 75% of the ones from the service are corporate executives that come to town and need to attend a gala or want to be seen having dinner with an attractive woman. With these gentlemen I enjoy meals at the best restaurants in town and they receive the adulation of their peers. I know when to keep my mouth shut and I never curse in public. I have class.

I am a whore when the bedroom door closes in my special apartment. I maintain a small place just for entertaining. Unbeknown to the landlord, I have had my bedroom professionally sound-proofed. This was a total necessity. I could not have neighbors complaining about noises of any kind.

You would be surprised at what men want. One of my clients is a high ranking political person. At least once a month he likes to visit. There is no chit-chat when he arrives as his time is limited. He goes straight to the bedroom, lowers his pants and bends over my bed. He likes for me to beat the crap out of him with a riding crop. He isn’t happy until his flesh is striped a heavy red and he has ejaculated. Neither he nor I have to touch his penis. I have seen him ejaculate even without an erection. A hot ass seems to do the trick.

There is another man who is in his late fifties. He likes to roll play. I make sure he is my last appointment for the evening because it takes me a while to recuperate. I am his bad little girl and he takes me over his knee and pulls my skirt up and panties down and spanks me. Unfortunately, he really gets into his roll. He does not stop until I am crying like a baby and he has gotten off. Sometimes he has to take himself in hand to finish the job, but not very often. I wind up having to put ice bags on my butt cheeks to cool them down.

He does pay extra for this privilege. But this is as far as I’ll go with being hurt in any way. I do not do rape scenes unless it is the man being tied up and raped. That is fun. Remember, he has asked for this. I cuff his hands to the top of the bed and make him spread-eagle and confine his ankles to the bottom of the bed. He is at my mercy. I tickle and tease him to where his penis is jerking and begging for attention. I tell him all the nasty things I am going to do to him. I am going to put a condom on that big pole and ride into the sunset. Eventually I do sheath him and sit on his cock. I ride him until he comes. Sometimes I do, too; more often I do not because the scene is all about his pleasure.

Some of my quickest johns are those that simply want a blow job. Their wives just will not appease them and have an aversion to a cock in their mouths. I love to give head. It makes me feel very feminine and very powerful. I must do an excellent job because no one lasts for more than 15 minutes. My own personal rule is that I never wear lipstick because I would not want my client going home with a Passionate Pink ring around his Willy.

I always use my hand as well as my lips and tongue. I begin by sucking the head and using my tongue to rim around the edge and play with the slit. I lube my hand with a non-fragranced lotion so I can do some serious stroking. When he gets to the point where he is fucking my mouth harder and either saying dirty things or moaning, I stop the hand work and take him deep. I know he is about to come and I let him shoot deep into my throat. When he finishes, I lick him clean and he is out the door. What they do not see is that every time I let a man come in my mouth, when he leaves I gargle for five minutes with a strong antiseptic mouthwash.

Yes, I do have a few clients that like to butt fuck. It is not my favorite and I have never reached an orgasm that way. However, I am a good actress. This is a trick that costs extra. I provide the lube of my choice and prior to the client’s visit I will wear a large butt plug to get me ready for his invasion. I will say that these clients do like foreplay. My secret is to get them to the point where they are about to pop and then let them in the back door. They do not last too long and the discomfort does not linger.

Being an escort is all about his pleasure, not mine. It does not bother me that men will fuck me, come and then leave right away. If they have not worked me up to where I am wet enough to accept them, we always use lubricated condoms and I always have extra lube in my bedside drawer. I buy the large economy size.

They are there for something different. I am no gymnast but we have tried some very strange positions. It is not my call. As long as neither of us gets physically hurt, anything goes. I would say that my strangest regular is ‘Marvin.’ I really think he has some unresolved mental issues but I am not going to be the one to tell him. He likes for us to get totally nude and he suckles my tits while he masturbates. Sometimes we are in the bed – sometimes he makes me straddle his lap. He has no interest in my pussy which is totally open to him. He doesn’t touch it. There are times when he has come on me that he has cried. I just hold his head to by chest and tell him everything is going to be fine. Fact is stranger than fiction.

I do not worry about my safety. Marvin is the only nut I know and he’s harmless. I do not pick up strange men at bars or walk the streets looking for a number.

The only hang-up about my profession is that it is highly unlikely that I will marry and have a family. It would really take a Renaissance man to understand my job and accept it.

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