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Fast FREE Discreet Delivery on All Orders

We offer FREE delivery on all UK orders. Our average order despatch time is within 1-2 working days of receipt. For those who wish to speed up our already fast average delivery time, we also provide two further delivery options to our UK customers.

We believe that shopping online for safe sex products should enhance and not compromise your privacy. Every package we send leaves our warehouse in discreet packaging so that your business remains your business.

In addition, your bank/card statements will show "BC Trading" and not British Condoms. This ensures that your privacy is protected in every way possible.

INTERNATIONAL CUSTOMERS: We are required by customs to label orders shipped to countries outside of the EU. For your discretion we label these orders as containing "Health Products".

Orders shipped within the EU are treated in the same way as a UK order, a customs label is not required.

99.8% Positive Customer Feedback

We use Yotpo, an independent review company to monitor the happiness of our customers shopping experience. This not only allows us to see how we are doing in terms of delivering a fantastic level of service, but also means that we are more transparent.

365 DAY NO HASSLE RETURN

We want you to be totally confident about every order you place, so we have a 365 day no-quibble returns policy to put your mind at ease.

  • You can return anything for any reason, even if you just didn’t like it, including if it’s been opened, worn or used.
  • You can return your parcel within the UK completely free by using the return address on the address label.
  • You will get an immediate replacement (if in stock) or full refund

10% Discount for Account Holders

We value our customers and would like to reward you for shopping with us. We offer the most generous rewards programs in the industry. Shop with us and you will earn 10% back automatically, to be used on future purchases. There are no fees to join, all you need is an account!

It really is that easy. If you shop at British Condoms for all of your condoms and related needs, you can earn some serious rewards. Why shop anywhere else?

Low Prices Guaranteed

We guarantee that our standard prices are already cheaper than the high street. However there are 3 ways that you can make even larger savings:

1. We off multi buy discounts on all of our condoms, condom trial and value packs, lubricants and enhancers. These discounts enable you to save an extra 15% when buying 3 or more of the same item, or a massive 25% when you purchase 6 or more.

2. Additionally, you can save an extra 10% for liking us on Facebook, following us on Twitter, +1’ing us on Google+, or simply joining our ‘offer alerts’ email. This saving can be made by clicking the tab on the right hand side of the screen, then choosing your preferred method. A discount code worth 10% off will then be presented to you instantly (on the screen), which you can copy and paste in at the checkout.

3. On top of all of that, we offer the most generous rewards program a in the industry, which gives account holders 10% back on every purchase with us.

If you combine these 3 methods together, massive savings can be made. So what are you waiting for? Shop now!

Discreet Delivery on All Orders

We believe that shopping online for safe sex products should enhance and not compromise your privacy. Every package we send leaves our warehouse in discreet packaging so that your business remains your business.

In addition, your bank/card statements will show "BC Trading" and not British Condoms. This ensures that your privacy is protected in every way possible.

INTERNATIONAL CUSTOMERS: We are required by customs to label orders shipped to countries outside of the EU. For your discretion we label these orders as containing "Health Products".

Orders shipped within the EU are treated in the same way as a UK order, a customs label is not required.

One Wish equals Three

Posted on

I remember puberty like it was yesterday. Without going into anatomy lessons, I can remember when I discovered that if I stroked my little penis it felt so good. Shooting a load of white cream felt even better. As a kid I was pulling on myself every chance I got. I was all smiles with a sprinkling of pimples.

The best I can figure, one night when I was asleep I was visited by a genie. He said, “Kid, I see that you are having a grand time choking your chicken. I usually grant three wishes but for you I am granting you a choice. Beginning now you can either play with yourself for 15 minutes once a day, or you can play with yourself for five minutes three times a day. Fifteen minutes is all you’re going to get.”

Being a kid and seeing how great it felt to come, I chose three times a day. I mean I didn’t want to go into a marathon whack-off and get caught. Five minutes was just right. Unfortunately I had to stick to the schedule into adulthood.

After I disappointed so many girls in college I decided I needed to have a plan. I was not going to be able to last until they reached a climax – if they ever did. So I made it my absolute practice to ensure I gave the girl an orgasm first – either with my hand or mouth. This way it didn’t matter that I was faster than a speeding bullet. It seemed like they appreciated it. I feel more like a gentleman when I consider the girl/woman’s needs before my own. I adopted that plan and it has served me well.

Well, several months ago on a Friday night I went to a bar without a date. Sitting at the long polished wood a woman came and sat next to me. She wasn’t my type. I like slender, petite women and she was on the plump side. I will say she had a nice rack of tits going for her. I kept drinking and we kept talking and I wound up at her place that night. We fucked and I did not stick to my game plan. I used her for a quickie – a real quickie. I could not redeem my selfish actions because like the jack ass I was, I immediately fell asleep.

The next morning I woke up and could not move my arms. I thought maybe I had had a stroke as retribution for my asinine behavior. But no, she had my hands tied to the metal rails of her headboard. I looked over at her and she was smiling. She told me that I had my way with her the night before and now it was her turn.

She had used ribbons or scarves and I felt sure I could get myself out of the situation if I had tried hard enough. But I was hung over and didn’t have the energy. I told her if she didn’t let me up I was going to piss all over her bed. She got up and went out somewhere and came back with a plastic pitcher. Can you believe she actually held my cock as I pissed into that jar? It didn’t seem to bother her and my bladder was screaming at me.

She was still as naked as I was. I raised my head and watched her walk away and then come back. She had a nice ass – a little on the big side but I would have loved to grab it and massage those big cheeks. When she came back in the bedroom I watched her huge jugs bounce and sway with each step. I could have spent a month just suckling, nipping and getting lost in them. She came to bed and straddled me giving me a perfect picture of her pink pussy. She leaned over and tickled my chest with her nipples asking if I could get it up again. I didn’t tell her my genie story.

She scooted back so she could play with my cock and balls. And I mean play. It was like she had never seen one before and wanted to take in every inch as it got harder and harder. Then she covered me with her body while she reached into a bedside drawer and retrieved a tube of something. I was seriously hoping it wasn’t super glue.

She squirted some in her hand and rubbed her palms together. Then she reached for my cock and began pumping. Holy cow, it was some kind to warming lotion. I cannot tell you how badly I wanted to fuck. Then she surprised me. She took some more of the stuff and rubbed it into her cleavage. She bent over me, squeezed her breasts together and began to tit-fuck me. She would go up and down with my cock smothered between those orbs. It also gave me a bit of room to thrust between them.

Never has five minutes gone by so quickly. I didn’t warn her. It was her punishment for having me where I could not grab her. I felt the electricity begin in my spine, travel to my balls and then begin shooting out of the head of my cock like a fireman’s hose. I was trying to put out the fire between her tits. After about four healthy squirts she asked if I was finished. I couldn’t speak so I just nodded my head.

She got up to clean off and came back to bed with her vibrator. I was a little frightened about where she planned to put it. She looked at me and asked me if I minded. She said she had to even the score. Right now it was Christians two and lions nothing. She laid beside me a fucked herself. It didn’t take more than two minutes for her to get off. And it was no fake.

She turned over and we both went back to sleep. When I woke up she was playing with my cock again. I groaned and asked her to please stop because she was going to give me another erection. She was very pleased with herself. She reached over into that drawer and pulled out a condom. She said she was ready when I was.

Well, she got me totally hard. She even leaned over me and let me lick her big tits. So she straddles me again. I look up and watch her roll the condom on my cock which is now doing his happy dance. You just do not have any idea how erotic it is to see a woman with huge melons about to sit on your cock. After I was suited up she began playing with her pussy while I watched. She asked if that turned me on more. I couldn’t answer but I was drooling out of the side of my mouth.

When she felt she was lubed enough she took the head of my cock and pressed it to her opening. She worked her way down inch by inch nearly driving me insane. When I was in to the hilt she began rubbing her clit against me in a belly dance motion. She was off in less than a minute. Miss Jugs was quicker than me! Then she raised herself a couple of inches giving me room to thrust up into her at will. She was hot and she was tight. I lasted another couple of minutes and asked her to take me in all the way. It was heaven when I came.

She got off of me and expertly took the condom off and disposed of it. She came back in wearing a robe and untied me. She said to get cleaned up and she would make us something to eat. I did and she did.

Over our brunch I confessed about the genie. She said he must have visited her as well. She said that when she sees a man come that she gets so horny that she can get off in a minute or two. She said most men don’t want to waste a good erection because they may not get another for 12 hours or more. She asked if I would like to visit again sometime. Am I an idiot?

We have seen a lot of each other. I can tell you she is one of the most inventive women I have ever met in finding ways to make me come. She does not mind that I am quick on the draw because she is as well. We are a sex match made in heaven – or maybe the netherworld.

Thanks to her now I never feel sorry for myself. I guess I feel sorry for all those marathon men who chose once for 15 minutes.

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